As 2018 is coming to a close, many take this time to reflect on the successes and challenges of the past year (by the time you get to read this blog, 2019 may already be here). Finding gratitude in all that happened, whether good or bad, insures that you do not fall victim to holding on to any energies that no longer serve you. Others may take the time to declutter in preparation to clear the slate and to start the year with a renewed sense of vigor and focus. Whatever your practice for New Year’s preparation, I have recently found that many, even myself, have a difficult time letting go.

Letting go of perceived bad habits, relationships, or a particular situation that creates disruption and worry is essential to living a life of ease and harmony. New Year’s resolutions have been the commonly accepted means to achieve this, but have you noticed how many times you have failed to accomplish or sustain your New Year’s resolutions in the past? Not being able to adhere to your New Year’s resolutions, many times lead to self-judgment and self-sabotaging behaviors.

What I have observed is that if the resolution you set for yourself is not one of your highest values, you will never succeed. You may achieve for a brief moment only to succumb to old patterns. Identifying your highest value then becomes of paramount importance if you want to set a New Year’s resolution that will stick and become a new lifestyle. If you are interested in finding a way to determine your highest values, please reach out and sign up for my life letters by going to my website at

Sometimes unrealistic New Year’s resolutions create mental roadblocks to achieving success. Anytime you set unrealistic expectations, and your mind cannot believe you can be successful, it shifts you into self-sabotaging behaviors. Hence justifying why you cannot achieve those lofty expectations. Setting realistic timing parameters will further bolster your ability to achieve and be successful in realizing your resolutions.

Besides defining your highest values, the next step to letting go is to not to let go. How many of you just said, “huh?” So much emphasis is placed upon the need to let go of a bad habit or situation instead of recognizing how that particular bad habit or situation has served you or currently benefitted you in your life.

Are you thinking, “how can it be benefitting me if I want to let it go?” Through much self-reflection and hearing others discuss how difficult it is to let go, I have come to an understanding that full acceptance of the behavior, habit, person, or situation you wish to let go of, is essential to letting go.

Until you recognize and accept how this habit, person, or situation has benefitted you in your life, you will never be able to truly let it go. Even if you perceive you have let it go, or do hypnosis to get rid of this undesired energy, you will transform the habit or person into something else that you will one day have to deal with in the future.

Full acceptance and the willingness to embrace this bad behavior, as just a behavior that assisted you at the time you created it, is the secret to letting go. The yin yang and the polar opposites, is the same as surrendering to the fact that being a complete human being is to balance your perceived good and bad qualities. Embrace who you are, and in doing so, it will allow you to be at ease and harmony in your relationships and your life.