Recently I held my Healing Energetics Workshop, which was a great reminder that you are responsible for your perceptions, and being balanced provides for more ease in your life. The underlying incentive that the participants shared was the desire to learn how to hold their boundaries without feeling guilty and getting drained by others’ negativity. Knowing your energy and what feels right becomes paramount to insure that you make a choice that is aligned with your innermost knowing. Many times the need to be politically correct, or diplomatic, in personal interactions, may push you to compromise your feelings and suppress what you really want to say or do.

It’s amazing how at the age of two, we all learned how to say NO, coining the phrase, “terrible twos”. However, many learned over time that sometimes to assert one’s wishes, didn’t matter when figures of authority wanted to assert their will and dominate you. To be included and accepted became the next energetic driver that has made many people compromise what they would think, say, or do. Embracing your uniqueness and own perception is key in establishing healthy boundaries with yourself and others. When you know yourself, you can have healthy relationships and find balance with others.

Energy is free flowing and is within you, others, and all around. When energy is not allowed to flow freely is when challenges and blocks arise. The best analogy is the freeway – when there are no accidents, traffic flows with ease. However any motor vehicle accident, or water main break, creates congestion and traffic that keeps people stranded in their cars for hours.

The connection to strive for is when there is an equal exchange of energy, where two individuals are giving and receiving equally. The way to achieve this balance is paying attention to what feels right for you and for the other person. Finding the perfect blend of giving and receiving service and loving energy, allows the magic to happen, where both parties can connect and exchange equally.

Take a look at the different relationships in your life – personal or work – and see where there is a nice balance between giving and receiving. Usually the relationships that are out of balance will make you feel drained when you hear that person’s name, or you will feel resistance build up deep inside of you when asked to do something for them.

Recognizing which relationships are out of balance, you now have the power to decide how you want to navigate them. You can choose to discontinue any challenging and energy draining relationships. If they are family members or close relationships, you can decide how much time you want to spend with them and how much you are willing to do for them.

Always remind yourself that you have a choice, and to help keep your boundaries firm, list out how it would benefit those people when you say no or hold your boundaries. Taking ownership of your life and determining what works and doesn’t work for you, will insure more ease and harmony, not only in yourself, but in your relationships as well.