Old habituated patterns control the way you deal with your current life experiences. Many times it is unconscious and you don’t give it a second thought, until you begin to experience difficulties associated with these ingrained, old patterns.
Recognize that these patterns were created by you in the past, in order to deal with a challenge or situation. It became an essential part of making choices, to keep you from repeating what you have done before. It takes a lot of energy to prevent yourself from unconsciously reacting or acting how you normally would, but learning how to identify your patterns and then being able to make a choice is what’s needed.
Being conscious and identifying your triggers will further enable you to see why you react and respond to certain situations, comments, or people. Some judged behavior patterns that are looked down upon are being quick to anger, sarcastic remarks, indecisiveness, and lying, to name a few.
The first step is to become aware of your behavior. The second step, if you are open and willing, is to analyze and reflect on yourself to see why you behave this way. In the past you may have received some benefit from your behavior, which then reinforced that behavior. On the flip side, you may have been reprimanded or shamed for what you did, which either prompted you to never act that way again, or you continued the behavior because it brought secondary benefits, such as attention or interaction.
It’s exhausting to deconstruct yourself and establish new behaviors that currently serve you. Although you are not the same person you were 10 years ago, or even 20 years ago, the way you operate and deal with situations was hard wired into you, back in your formative years, before the age of five. As the years passed, certain life experiences created a very strong imprint, which may have prompted you to modify your behavior, although you never ever change who you essentially are.
The one thing I have learned is that each and every person out there wants to be loved for who they are. Changing for another person cannot be sustained long term. Being who you are and owning your true authenticity keeps you from going through life as a shadow of your true self.
To be conscious and present with how you act or react to certain scenarios is one of the hardest things to do. Applying this one practice leads to better communication with loved ones, friends, co-workers and ultimately you. The old adage that you judge yourself more than anyone else does, is true. Trusting and knowing yourself further assists you in being authentic and true to yourself and others.
Identify your unique body signals, which are constantly giving feedback to help you speak and act in alignment with who you are. Pain or strange body ailments are signals of the body getting you to pay attention to what you are saying and doing.
Just a caveat that sometimes when you are not repeating a habituated pattern you may experience pain or discomfort. The reason is that changing and shifting from an established pattern is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. It’s something new with no history of what will happen. However, taking time to establish a clear dialogue with your body will help you to understand when pain or weird health issues arise, and that it is a good thing, not something to be feared.