Misty had a rash appear on her chest that soon spread all over her body. She was in her early thirties and in a long-term relationship for several years. For a year, she was feeling the need to make changes. Although her boyfriend was her best friend, their paths were diverging for a few years. She woke up one morning, realizing the relationship was comfortable, but stagnant and not growing. Misty couldn’t understand why she was unhappy, but knew on a deeper level that she wanted to move on.
Misty’s rash intensified when the company she worked for devalued her efforts. She was the leading salesperson of her company for the last three years but they wanted to trim her commissions. This threw Misty off balance and infuriated her.
The tipping point occurred when she finally decided to end the relationship with her boyfriend, and due to extenuating circumstances, he didn’t move out right away. He would constantly question her and plead for her to reconsider. When Misty came in, she expressed, “I am just miserable. Although the anti-histamines and corticosteroids are taking the edge off the itchiness, when I sleep at night I’m restless and find my bed sheets covered with bloodstains in the morning. I don’t know what to do and am riddled with guilt. I’m not a bad person, but I feel like I am.”
I inquired, “Would you say that the intensity of the itch matches the degree that you’re judging yourself for breaking up with your boyfriend and not being valued by your company?”
Misty nodded. I added, “You feel that you are hurting him, but can you see that by staying with him you are hurting him too? Misty looked at me with a quizzical look and asked, “What do you mean? He is a great guy and I should be grateful to have him in my life. We have just grown apart and are more roommates than lovers. He has his life, which many times inconveniences mine and I no longer fit in with his social circle of friends. I feel I have grown and he has stayed the same and doesn’t want to grow or change. I was sure about my decision, but he’s been asking for a second chance and promising to change, which is making me reconsider.”
I responded, “Can you see that the itchiness and rash are your body’s non-subtle ways to illustrate how uncomfortable you are in your own skin? The reason why you can hurt him by staying in the relationship is that you are no longer interested in sharing a life with him and will begin to resent him and yourself for not sticking to your decision of breaking up. Instead of perceiving that you are hurting him, how is this a positive for him and for you?”
She said, “I can’t see how it is serving him. He has been telling me how much he is hurting.” I replied, “I hear what you are saying, but some positives for him is that he won’t hear, ‘why is the toilet seat up?’ or ‘why do you have to go out with your friends tonight?’ You mentioned that you no longer resonated with his group of friends. Is there some conflict in him choosing to go out with them or staying with you?” Misty replied, “There were moments he really wanted to be with his friends, but because we made plans he chose to stay with me but was distant the whole time. Those were the times I wished he had been honest and told me what he really wanted versus us getting into an argument, because I felt he was not connecting with me.”
Misty started to come up with some of her own positives for her boyfriend and started to relax. She then asked, “What about my job?” I answered, “Are you happy working for this company, because it seems that you want to do something different with your life?” Misty replied, “Although I have done well these past three years for my company, there was a change in management recently and I don’t agree with their personality or vision. I almost feel like a fraud selling something that I don’t believe in anymore.”
I said, “can you see your company’s choice to cut down on your commissions was actually a blessing in disguise? Did this action make you consider staying with them or not?” Misty nodded in agreement. I then asked, “How’s the itch?” She looked at me and responded, “I was so deep in thought, but actually I’m less itchy. I still feel it, but it is more subdued.”
Misty continued with care and as she became more in tune with her truth and inner knowingness, she set into motion changes in her life. Due to Misty’s increased awareness and willingness to follow her inner voice, within a week, her ex-boyfriend moved out and she made preparations to leave her company to pursue her dreams of starting her own business. Once she brought balance to her experience and perceptions, she was able to resolve her rash and the itch was a thing of the past.
It’s amazing that when you awaken and the need to change arises, the infinite body wisdom does whatever it takes to make you so uncomfortable that it pushes you into action. The should’s made Misty doubt her own inner knowing of what was true for her.
If you can relate, or have a story to share, please comment below. Have you experienced foot pain? What did you find it related to? There is a benefit in expressing and exchanging our stories. Let’s hear it!