As one begins to develop a stronger mind-body connection, the next step, besides discovering how one feels and connects with their body, is to become aware of one’s behavior patterns. Recently I have had to face a lot of my old patterns in how I operate and experience my life. We all have our own perspectives of how we experience certain instances that will always be seen through our own unique filters. No two people will ever see or experience a particular event the same. Everyone’s experience is their own; due to influences of the past. So how can we stay in the present moment and not fall back into old behavior patterns?
The first step is to become aware and recognize when you are falling back into old patterns of reacting and thoughts. Sometimes we need others to help us to see when we become unsure and begin reacting to situations. We all have created different strategies to deal with uncomfortable situations, people, and even ourselves. I have discovered that one of my old patterns is to avoid uncomfortable situations. I tend to be a people-pleaser, and will do whatever it takes to make sure everyone around me is happy in my perception. I will even sacrifice my own happiness to insure that others, especially loved ones, are happy. What I have come to discover is that you cannot please everyone, even if your intentions are good. It’s the battle between what I feel is right, and wanting others to be happy in spite of my own happiness.
Before I’ve felt that if I chose my happiness over another, I was being selfish. Listening to many personal histories over the years, I have discovered that I am not alone in feeling this way. Many have shared that when they choose themselves first, they feel selfish and guilty about it. I have come to the realization that until we choose ourselves first, then we can never fully love or give to another. Loving and putting one’s “self” first, is necessary to truly love others. Even in the Bible, Mark 12:31 states, “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” By simply loving yourself, you are able to love others. So begin immediately and choose to love yourself first, which will then allow you to give, serve, and love others.
We develop certain habits or act a certain way, because it serves us. Good habits such as brushing our teeth, helps us to prevent dental decay and cavities. But why do we also develop such things as bad habits? Such considered bad habits are procrastinating, stretching the truth, avoiding confrontations, making excuses, etc. We all have, from time to time, done those things, but why are some people more prone to acting this way? Until one can be brutally honest with themselves, and take a look at how a particular behavior is benefiting them, they will keep reenacting the same behavior until they choose that it no longer serves them in a positive way. Once a person knows their truth, sees how they want to experience their life, and accepts themselves fully and unconditionally, there is an alchemical moment when they can transform a bad habit into a different form.
However, know that it takes time, patience, dedication, and determination to address and eventually change old patterns or habits. Reason being is that all behaviors were created by you to deal with certain situations in your life. Change takes time and doesn’t happen overnight. Learn to be more gentle with yourself, because there are going to be moments when you will go back into your patterns and repeat behaviors. When you do it’s because you didn’t stay consciously present and allowed yourself to enter autopilot mode, not making a conscious choice with your actions. Take this moment to choose to be present and take tiny steps towards freeing yourself from those old, crusty habits.
If you can relate, or have a story to share, please comment below. There is a benefit in expressing and exchanging our stories. Let’s hear it!