Nathan was a 13 year old boy that came in with bad pressure headaches. His mom decided to contact me because the headaches have been causing him to miss a lot of school.
Nathan was adjusted by another chiropractor in the past, and the headaches decreased quite a bit, but still come and go. Upon meeting them, it turned out that his mom really loves him, but is extremely controlling, to the point of being militant on some issues.
All of Nathan’s friends have freedom to hang out and play video games, but Nathan isn’t given the same freedom. Because of this, he can’t connect with his friends in the same way they relate to each other even if he tries, and ends up feeling left out.
He’s really quiet, doesn’t say much, and holds it all in. When I asked him if there was anything going on with his mom, he started tearing up, but wouldn’t say anything. His mom was also in the room with us, so I asked her if she would get upset if he expressed himself. She reassured him that she wouldn’t and that she wants him to express his feelings.
I was able to slowly pull things out of Nathan. One issue was that his mom is a health nut. She has him eating all these nutritious foods that appear weird to his friends, and we found out, he hates being teased by all the weird foods he has to eat! He dreads lunchtime and his mom has been forcing him to eat this way for the past three years.
Nathan is here to break his mom’s fantasy about things. He doesn’t want to disappoint his mom, which is something I completely understand because I did the same thing for my mom. I now understood why he was getting his migraines. He doesn’t want to disappoint his mom, yet feels disconnected from his friends, and it’s all making him miserable. He’s in distress.
In Nathan’s mind, he’s thinking of how he can please his mom, but still live his life. He feels stuck, so he gets headaches because he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He’s in a lot of pain because he’s in his head, thinking about it. It’s basically mental congestion.
After he got adjusted on a Saturday, his mom asked him about his true feelings on Sunday, and he started tearing up again, so she asked me to talk to him on Monday at his next adjustment to see if I could find out what was going on with him.
When we talked, Nathan said that he had a headache that morning. It resolved an hour before his appointment, but he missed school again. I can’t imagine how upset his mom was with me, because she brought him so that he would stop missing school, yet he comes for an adjustment, and ends up with a bad headache, and misses school again.
This poor kid is always on the verge of crying because he can’t tell his mom that he feels she’s being unreasonable. Adding to this fact, Nathan perceives he has no friends because of her rigid mindset and her unwillingness to let him connect with them.
I can’t tell her what to do; I just asked her if she sees that her son is trying to connect with his friends but is not able to. He feels like a pariah because he doesn’t know about all the latest things his friends are into. I almost cried with him because I knew exactly what he was going through and could feel his pain.
I can understand his mom’s point of view. Her intent is good and she is just trying to look out for him, but she also needs to understand that she raised her son with good values and morals, and now has to start trusting him. If she makes him repress anything else, his head is going to explode, or he’s going to do something crazy.
If you can relate, or have a story to share, please comment below. Have you experienced hand pain? What did you find it related to? There is a benefit in expressing and exchanging our stories. Let’s hear it!